Self-esteem is not something you have. Self-esteem is something you do. This simple distinction makes all the difference.
Doing self-esteem isn’t always easy, especially if you aren’t used to it, but seeing the issue in this light is the first step. There may be obstacles in the way, but at least a path forward exists. If you believe that self-esteem is something you have, you are left to wonder where you lost your share. Who took it from you? Where shall you search for it? It’s bewildering. You may wonder if it is even possible to possess self-esteem if it has been stolen from you, or if you never received your allotment to begin with. Fair enough. I know the feeling, for this is my story as well.
When you shift your inner paradigm to believing that self-esteem is based a series of actions, both internal and external, things change. You move up from the back of the bus where you were chained and hop in the driver’s seat. No one else is in charge. Nobody has the power to take anything from you. You are the sole determiner of your level of self-esteem.
This does not make building self-esteem necessarily easy, but it does become necessarily possible when you shift your perspective in this way. I cannot emphasize this distinction enough. If you see self-esteem as something you are doing, no matter how easy or difficult, it nevertheless becomes something realistic that you can achieve. The alternative, believing that self-esteem is a psychic possession, leaves everything to chance.
Wait a minute, if I don’t have self-esteem, can’t I go get it, find it, or at least discover where it lives? Ok. And let’s be clear – you’ll need to actively pursue it, will you not? And this is my point. If you are old enough to read and comprehend these words, you can rest assured that high self-esteem is not going to appear in your living room one day and ask if it can stay with you for the rest of your life while you watch reruns on TV Land.
You will need to do something differently. And that is
the bottom line.
Once this notion sinks in, even partially, you are ready to begin the doing of your self-esteem. The path ahead is full of obstacles. It remains unclear for much of the journey. There may be dark and scary places along the way. It’s tough. But there is a path – a universal path with your name on it – and that is the good news.
Your doing self-esteem is what this website and the Doing Self-Esteem program is all about. We shine light on the path toward high self-esteem, confidence and self-respect, then help you along the way with the best internal and external strategies ever known.
Welcome to a new perspective and a new and effective plan for your self-esteem.